Have you ever felt so out of place?
Imagine.
You've decided to explore the universe, to explore what everyone around you told you not to. In order to prove to others you can think for your own, and that you have your own voice, you decide to step into that rocket, without knowing where it'll take you.You land on a planet, and you're the only human there. You make some friends, and you're warm and full. You have something to do, but you're just not good at doing it. You try to work hard, to keep up with the other creatures who are doing skyrocketing-ly well. Well, of course some of them falter and mix up, just like how humans on planet Earth do too. You know you're not putting in your 100%, but you just can't seem to put in all that 100% effort as you have on Earth. It is as though there was a suction force on this planet that slowly sucks out the confidence, determination, intelligence and willpower in you. You have thoughts of going back to earth, to go back to what everyone initially told you what you should've done. However, the meteors of judgement and 'what ifs' starts flying in your way. The weather in space is filled with too much uncertainty and fear. You remain on this planet and wait, and wait. Some days you tell yourself "why not just remain here, it is not as though I'm dying. I can live by". But deep down inside you long to go back, long to have that seed of hope inside you grow and flourish. Thought bubble: When I go back, I may not succeed. People will question, they will judge, they will ask. What am I to do? I cant handle it. Given my own strength and circumstances, I know it'll be difficult. But somehow inside me, I am certain I need to go back to where I belong.
Or do I even belong there?
God, send me a flying triangle space craft so I know I have to go back. God, send me a bright golden star that'll lead me back. God, send me...I ask and ask for signs. I ask for a triangle space craft, I see a square one. I ask for a bright golden star, I see a silver one. Nothing is exact. Some days I ask and there is no answer. Just as it was on Earth, I know nothing is ever so certain.I just need to leap over that gap of uncertainty. The rocket is parked right outside my lodging, however it is not fixed. Bit by bit i build it, to get it ready for take off. Finally, after a year, it is finished. However, the key is still in my pocket, not in my hand.
Do I go back? What awaits me there? Will I encounter storms and milkyways? Should I just stay here, or should I take the unconventional route?
Or do I even belong there?
God, send me a flying triangle space craft so I know I have to go back. God, send me a bright golden star that'll lead me back. God, send me...I ask and ask for signs. I ask for a triangle space craft, I see a square one. I ask for a bright golden star, I see a silver one. Nothing is exact. Some days I ask and there is no answer. Just as it was on Earth, I know nothing is ever so certain.I just need to leap over that gap of uncertainty. The rocket is parked right outside my lodging, however it is not fixed. Bit by bit i build it, to get it ready for take off. Finally, after a year, it is finished. However, the key is still in my pocket, not in my hand.
Do I go back? What awaits me there? Will I encounter storms and milkyways? Should I just stay here, or should I take the unconventional route?
Anyone out there facing a similar issue? Please let me know so I can find some comfort in you, and hopefully, you in me. Cos as of now, I'm like a lost nomad.